To New Beginnings

I live in a generation of choices. Every day Americans my age wake up, and have what is seemingly an endless list of choices as to what can be pursued or accomplished. And yet, as some of us are realizing, this "freedom" we have been gifted and are encouraged to utilize, stuns us. We have all the choices in the world, and none at the same time - we can't choose. Choice is a funny thing. Most of us can choose between two paths or flavors. But put us in a labyrinth with thousands of paths, and we will just sit down.

So you say you like choices?

Today, I begin the journey of one of the first true choices I have made. I say "true choices" because most of my life has been spent floundering. I've always known I have a good head on my shoulders. I often use that head to surprising (even to me) effect. But, like most Americans, I couldn't decide how to use it. 

If only it were this easy

If you are reading this blog, it is likely you know a good amount of my history. If you don't, here it is in sum: I was a geek who never found my fit in life, until finally I took the time to reflect on myself. There were two pivotal moments in my life that ignited this. The first was realizing that I needed someone to talk to about the constant thoughts I have. For this, I made the choice that many are afraid to, and saw a therapist. This therapist, Jim, never told me I was wrong, or that I needed to change anything. All he did was help me work through my thoughts. It was amazing. He was amazing. I honestly can't thank him enough. As a consequence of Jim's help, the second pivotal moment was when I made the decision to spend my spring break in the middle of nowhere, unable to talk, and forced only to reflect. This was achieved through a 10-day silent meditation retreat. If this sounds crazy to you, it was - crazy enlightening. I spent 10 days, unable to speak, made to sit motionless for at least six hours a day, and only myself to talk to, mentally. If this sounds fun to you, I highly recommend giving it a try. If it sounds terrifying to you, I still recommend it. It's the hardest but most rewarding thing I've ever done.

There's probably a retreat near you: http://www.dhamma.org/en/locations/directory

From this reflection, I came to a few key realizations. The first: we are nothing without each other. Life is not meant to be conquered alone. And the fact that this is true for all of us, means we need to do our best to try and understand each other. This is often difficult, as what we don't immediately understand, we often fear or hate. But if you take the time to reflect on yourself, you see that the things you don't understand about others is often within yourself, and merely a projection of your own fears. 

Look familiar?

You can always conquer the fears within. This leads me to my second realization: take the time to reflect. We spend so much time blaming others around us, complaining about the problems in the world, and focusing on just about anything but ourselves. This is a travesty. By merely taking a few minutes out of your day to seek out how you actually are and feel, you can begin to understand the world around you. People get less scary. You're happier more. You stop lashing out. 

Reflection can bring you to the clouds

The only actions of the world we have control over are our own. This includes our thoughts and attitudes. This leads me to my third realization: we must seek to understand. Knowing something, and understanding it are two different things. We accept this with facts and general studies. But when it comes to people, we feel like we understand others just by knowing them. We don't. It is only by taking the time, and making your purpose to understand someone, that we can ever even get close to understanding. It is through this last realization especially that I sit here, writing my first blog entry, before getting on a plane to Taiwan.

SF Airport has desks - neat huh?

It is no longer a rare story to hear that someone has taught English abroad. It seems like everyone knows someone who has done it, or is doing it. However, from talking to some of these expats, it seems like the experience is a "gap job," one that allows them to afford travel, and trying something different. It's merely an adventure. When I step out of the plane to Taiwan, I am not on an adventure. I am on a quest to understand. I want to understand Eastern thought and culture, because someday there is going to be a critical need for understanding between the East and West, and it won't be easy. The first step to this is learning what is said to be one of the most difficult languages in the world: Mandarin Chinese. 

A culture's history in its language

The next obvious question is: why Taiwan? Why not China? Because readers, upon reflection, I know I'm still human, and would like to make the experience a fun and safe one. Taiwan is just plain superior to China in these aspects (as an American at least). Could I have fun in China? Sure. Would the language learning probably go a bit smoother? You bet. But would I be surrounded by beautiful beaches, some of the friendliest people in the world, and a food-lovers paradise (not to mention fairly clean air)? No. And this, my friends, is why in 2 hours I will be getting on a plane to Taiwan.

Almost 15 hours in a tin can - I hope I can sleep

For those wishing me to fill in some gaps, don't worry. This blog is going to be weekly, and will be a combination of my experiences, thoughts, and most importantly, reflections on my life leading to this point, and how the lessons of Taiwan effect them. I will also attempt to live out what three separate people have told me would be my superpower, if there was such a thing: make the connections that others don't.